Category: comedian
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I didn’t like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions – the curtain was up.
Groucho Marx
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Okay, so, when I was a kid, definitely the drawings and the illustration. Then I stopped in sixth grade or so. And then I started again when I was in my twenties. I really didn’t progress since then, so the way I draw is the way I drew in sixth grade.
Demetri Martin
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When I went home from Juilliard, I couldn’t find acting work.
Robin Williams
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I’m not interested in closure. Some people just have heart attacks and die, right? There’s no closure.
Larry David
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I started doing comedy because that was the only stage that I could find. It was the pure idea of being on stage. That was the only thing that interested me, along with learning the craft and working, and just being in productions with people.
Robin Williams
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I like women, but you can’t always trust them. Some of them are big liars, like this one woman I met who had a dog. I asked her her dog’s name and then I asked, ‘Does he bite?’ and she said, ‘No.’ And I said, ‘So how does he eat?’ Liar!
Demetri Martin
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My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I’m not a big politics guy.
Kevin Hart
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At one point he decided enough was enough.
Steven Wright
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I really enjoy connecting with the audience.
Carol Burnett