Category: comedian
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My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
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If you’d asked me then if I saw how big ‘The Morning Show’ was going to be, I couldn’t tell you. But I knew I could reach people not as a character but as , because although I tell jokes for a living, I’ve also lived, and I think I can relate to you more than you know.
Steve Harvey
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Well, Art is Art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.
Groucho Marx
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I saw a bank that said ’24 Hour Banking’, but I don’t have that much time.
Steven Wright
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If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.
Mitch Hedberg
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I performed in a bowling alley before while people were still bowling. Cut the check, and I will perform anywhere.
Kevin Hart
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Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that people assume it was some kind of waltz in the park back then.
Larry David
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Comedy Central was a great network, but ‘Chappelle’s Show’ took it to a completely different level. Other shows got bigger because so many viewers were watching the ‘Chappelle’ reruns. For BET, the ‘Real Husbands of Hollywood’ has that same potential.
Kevin Hart
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But I don’t begrudge anybody, because I know how hard it is to have that dream and to make it happen, whether or not it’s just to put a roof over your head and food on the table.
Carol Burnett
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I thought I would, you know, go to college, get to law school, finish, and then get a job and work as a lawyer, but that proved to be not a good fit for me.
Demetri Martin