Tag: Woody Allen
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To you I’m an atheist; to God, I’m the Loyal Opposition.
Woody Allen
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What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
Woody Allen
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I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
Woody Allen
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I don’t think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
Woody Allen
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Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, ‘Be fruitful and multiply,’ but not in those words.
Woody Allen
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My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.
Woody Allen
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In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
Woody Allen
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I’m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
Woody Allen
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On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down .
Woody Allen
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Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
Woody Allen